Love and Dating

This is a long one so, bear with me. I babble and have wandering thoughts :)
 Ok, I personally feel that we should go back to dating like they did back in the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s. Back when my parents  were young, teens and young adults would date more than one guy or girl at a time. Somewhere along the way people started committing almost immediately. Now, instead of having 2 or more options, we saddle ourselves with one. We set our sights on each relationship being “The One”, setting ourselves up for failure.

  Unfortunately, I think women do it more than men. A lot of us are raised with the belief that we must find the perfect guy, get married, and have children to be successful. If we don’t do it by a certain age, we are looked at as failures. I know some things have changed but, even if you say “I have made a conscience decision not to get married”, I think people still secretly view you as a failure in love. They can’t believe you actually mean it but, that’s another subject. Anyway, we have these ideas imbedded in our brains from an early age. Stupid princess fantasies! Oh where is my Prince?! Why doesn’t that he like me!? Can’t he see how awesome I am!? He can’t!? So, then I must not be as awesome as I thought I was! All these people who reassure me and tell me I’m beautiful and smart must be lying to make me feel better because the guys just aren’t seeing it and I’m still single!

  Man! What a load of crap we pump into ourselves! I have had to reboot my heart and brain so that I can understand that that’s not how it really works. All of those ideas are a bunch of CRAP!!!! Everyone is working their way towards a goal. Be it a career, love, or both. Some people are never meant to find love, and if that’s what my destiny is then so be it. It’s kind of a sad prospect but, if I can have some mini relationships along the way then, I think I can deal with that. If by some chance I find him, the man to call my own, then it will be a pleasant surprise. But, I have decided the search for love is one stress I don’t need in my life. It is keeping from my life goals. I allowed the search for love to cloud my vision and take me off track but, I’m back! I can now focus on what I really need to do with my life. I’m not alone in this. I have come across quite a few women and, some men who have been knocked off track with this love obsession. We all have to understand, love will come to you. If you actively search for it, you may just accept anyone and think “This is it! I have found him(her)!” and lead yourself down a path you were not meant to go on. Well, chalk it up as a learning experience when it ends ‘cause, it probably will.

 Now guys I believe are taught to try everything and move on. The next big thing is around the corner so, get what you can out of this one while you can! I know it doesn’t pertain to ALL men. I do know quite a few men who don’t think that way but, friends, family, in a relationship and gay so, what are ya gonna do.  Anyway, I believe men are taught (when the time is right) to hunt and gather. Stalk the prey, gather the resources and, toss the carcass without even a look back. Treat that carcass(woman) like Sodom and Gommorah, if you look back, you will be turned into a pillar of salt! Therefore, I feel they can bounce from woman to woman like a honeybee, gathering nectar from each one until he finds that perfect flower where he can rest and gather honey for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, the other flowers are left to wither and die without even a backwards glance from Mr. Honeybee. He is happy and content with what he’s found so, why look back?

Okay, so here’s what I think. We should all date multiple people at once. NOT have sex with everybody! Just date. Really open your mind and be aware of each person and how he(she) is. Don’t cloud your mind with fantasies and expectations. If you are not interested, move on but, please be courteous enough to at least say “I’m sorry, I’m just not feelin it” or “I’m feeling this other person and I don’t want to lead you on anymore”. That’s it simple as that. And on to the next one. If someone you are dating stops contacting you for whatever reason and does not return your phone calls, move on. I know it’s hard ‘cause we all want answers but, sometimes it’s best just to let it go. Some people just can’t vocalize their feelings. They don’t want to hurt you, they don’t care and have forgotten about you, or they feel if they don’t say anything, they can come back to you later and pick up where you left off.

AHHH LOVE! That’s it for now! I will most likely revisit this subject at a later date because I obviously have some opinions on it. J